‘’He who does not show mercy (towards his children), no mercy would be shown to him.”

(Sahih Muslim)

Respect is one of the most important values in any society. It’s the basis for social interactions and plays a crucial role in developing and maintaining relationships, and this is certainly true when it comes to relationships with children. Raising a respectful child starts at home. A child’s first teachers are their parents. The way you as a parent treat your child is how they would expect others in society to treat them as well. If they are treated with disrespect at home, they wouldn’t mind receiving disrespect from others as well as that is what they have been exposed to, and the same applies to how they show respect to others. Children are keen observers; they are curious beings who like to monitor the behaviour of people around them and then channel it to the world. 

The home as we know is the focal point of the development in the child’s mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing. This is where they first learn what to be respected means, how to receive it and how to show it. How children show respect to one another is learnt first and foremost from their parents, as they are a child’s role model. Every child is unique and they deserve to be respected, loved and cared for.

This raises a serious question: Why is it important to show respect to them?

1. The parent’s morals, values and behaviour are mirrored by their children. As parents, we program them, and they learn to react based on the way they see us react to situations. 

2. Respecting their views and opinions. Respecting the opinions and views of children when they are young, letting them engage in family discussions regardless of their age and taking their thoughts seriously will help them build a strong character and improves their self-confidence. These qualities will then be carried on by them into the future. For example, in student governments in schools and colleges, the members are responsible for planning and managing a wide range of events, activities, policies and initiatives around school. It serves as the student’s representative body and helps them express their ideas, concerns and thoughts. 

3. Give them space. Giving children space to be independent and to work out their own feelings is very important. Not only do they learn how to do things on their own but by giving them opportunity to try something new, even if they fail, helps build their motivation. When you give them space this will let them know that you trust them to do what they love, earning their respect.

4. Watch your tone. Talking to children in a respectful manner, with kind words even when they make a mistake. This teaches them to be patient in times of anger and distress. Not only are they going to be mindful of what they say to others but, they are also going to speak with words of respect to themselves.

5. Maintaining a healthy relationship. Parents must learn to accept that children make mistakes: it’s how they learn and develop. As parents, it is our responsibility to take care of them but it is also our responsibility to let them do what they love without causing any disruption. Maintaining a good relationship starts with building a bridge of trust, showing that you trust them is key. Showing up to all the major and minor events of their life will let them know that you are there for them no matter what.

6. Being all ears. Listening to what they have to say carefully, by giving them all your attention from a young age will allow them to feel more comfortable to even share the most important and somewhat uncomfortable moments of their lives with you, knowing that they can tell you anything without being judged.

Children are our greatest treasures, showing respect and mercy to them will in return gain us respect and mercy. As “respect is earned, not given”.